What are your travel intentions?

How to take a more purposeful, personal trip—plus five fish recipes to try this month

2023 was really not my year. 

We had planned to lay low for Christmas, but December wholly deflated me. A trip, we decided on December 17th, would be just the thing to help us dig our way back out to lightness.

Being the holiday break, we had a rare 10-12 days free. At first, we tossed around South Africa. It’s always been a bucket list destination for us—and a difficult one to plan for when we had a lesser length of time. Safari and a wine tour? Yes please. But as we started mapping out an itinerary, it became clear that a trip of this magnitude would be poorly served by seven days of planning, even for brazen last-minute travelers.

Then we turned to Argentina and Uruguay. I’ve yet to make it to South America, and a destination that wasn’t entire ocean’s worth of time zones away was compelling. But as we started researching, Argentina suddenly started to feel a little overwhelming, too. Was it worth skipping Mendoza wine country to to see Iguazu Falls? Would be basing our whole trip on patchy accommodation availability? We wanted a little sunshine—but was Punta del Este the kind of beach vacation we were craving, or was that going to be a little too Miami? 

In the all too twinkly glow of our Christmas tree, we had an honest conversation about what would fill our cups. It’d been a busy year of travel, but most of our trips had danced around weddings, bachelorettes, birthdays. All so much fun, but this was a trip that was really just for the two of us.

Inspired by Priya Parker’s principles for gathering, we tried to think more intentionally about how to approach what we were trying to do here…

What was the true purpose of this trip? Relax to reset from 2023. Clear our minds from our recent health hurdles and day-to-day. Spend quality time reconnecting with each other.

Once we aligned on that purpose, it became clear that neither South Africa or Argentina were right for this moment in time. In the end, Saint Lucia was what the doctor ordered.

We spent eight days by the water: I read four books in the shade of palm trees. I did laps in the Caribbean sea. I had grilled fish every day—mostly fresh-caught red snapper, the occasional mahi mahi, and on one evening, a grouper that Mike plucked out of the cove by our hotel that the chef then steamed, delicately tucked into banana leaf.

I didn’t turn on a high-speed data plan while we were away, with the aim of staying off of my phone. As intended, all that buffering drained the enjoyment out of mindlessly swiping through Reels on winter capsule wardrobes. The azul waters came more sharply into focus, the smell of salt water more crisp. It was the slow time we needed.

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HOW TO SET TRAVEL INTENTIONS

You can’t do everything on every trip, so choose your focus. Having a primary purpose or goal gives you a decision-making framework to prioritize what’s important and make tradeoffs about how to best spend your time and money.

Here are a couple of framing questions to ask yourself:

1. What is the purpose of this trip?

   Start with uncovering your specific purpose, goal, or intention. We often let our travels be guided by recommendations from our friends, from Conde Nast Traveler, from influencers… which results in going on the exact same trip that every other millennial in our income bracket is chasing. (Have you sipped on tea at Sketch? Had cocktails at Gitano? Clambered down to a seaside lunch at C’as Patro March? It’s okay. We all have.) But unless hitting the most instagrammable spots is your goal (unlikely), you’re better served by identifying what it is that will make an upcoming travels most meaningful for you. A trip to Japan, for example, could be focused on seeking creative inspiration, immersing yourself in the beauty of cherry blossom season, or experiencing the best of the country’s cuisine.

2. How do I want this trip to make me feel?

   We can all remember the trips that made us feel joyful, relaxed, or energized—and the ones that made us feel anxious, drained, or overextended. Ask yourself: How do you want the trip to make you feel, and what are the locales, activities, or accommodations that will take you there? When we considered this question, I thought: Relaxed. Light. Free. Grounded. The lack of “must-dos” in Saint Lucia afforded us that experience. If we’d have booked Argentina, I’d be riddled with fomo over the wineries we’d be missing in Mendoza or the design-forward boutique hotels that I’d been too late to book in Buenos Aires.

3. What types of experiences matter the most?

   If the purpose of your trip is seeking creative inspiration, you can easily prioritize visiting art exhibits, partaking in guided experiences with craftspeople, or perusing unique retail destinations over a delicious but perhaps creatively unmemorable white tablecloth dinner. On this trip, we wanted to read without guilt or distractions, get daily movement, fish (for Mike), and swim/snorkel/dive in the water—our most meditative place.

4. What do we have the opportunity to do on this trip that we can’t do another time or place in our lives?

   Whether location or seasonality—thinking about what this specific time and place offers can help you unearth your intentions. We could easily have gone to Mexico, but that’s achievable in a long weekend from Denver—the Caribbean was not. And since we may be nearing the end of our kid-free era, filtering for destinations we’d be unlikely to travel while pregnant or with a baby/toddler (i.e. requiring a redeye and an overnight flight), helped us hone in on Saint Lucia.

5. What are you okay excluding from this trip?

   Just as important as what to include is what to exclude. I’m guilty of getting caught in the trap of doing the top “things to do” anywhere we go, but follow your purpose, not an internet listicle. When we first booked our flights, knowing that there was a popular hike close to one of our accommodations, I’d packed my hiking shoes. I wanted to hike the Pitons, or so I thought. But did I really want to, or did I just feel like I had to because that’s one of the things people will ask you if you did there? And then I thought, well, I took the trouble of lugging my hiking shoes all the way to the Caribbean—shouldn’t I get some use out of them? The thought of getting up before 6, only to be worn down by the Caribbean heat, was actually not at all appealing. I felt obligated, not excited, and certainly not relaxed, light, or free. Instead of hiking the Pitons, we opted to drink the namesake beer… a much better choice.

If you’d like to share, I’d love to know if this resonates with you in the comments. Have you taken the time to write down your travel intentions before? How has that helped you in trip planning? What is the purpose of your next trip, and where are you thinking of going?

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FIVE FISH RECIPES ON ROTATION

Coconut fish and tomato bake, NYT

Eating fish day in and day out in Saint Lucia really inspired to go full in on filets in the first month of the year. I am not a proponent of salad for dinner—I need something warm!

I especially love that fish is an easy protein to prepare for one—I buy packs of Chilean sea bass and salmon at Costco and defrost individual filets when ready to cook. Sharing some recent favorites with you…

1. Coconut fish and tomato bake / Yewande Komolafe, NYT: After Saint Lucia, I was craving coconut and curry notes and a richer preparation of white fish for the cold. This hits and comes together very quickly—though it seems like there are quite a few ingredients, everything is whipped up in a single bowl, so cleanup is minimal. 

2. Miso cod / Just One Cookbook: This recipe brings your favorite Japanese restaurant dish to your dinner table. It does require advance preparation, but that actually makes day-of cooking so easy. 

3. Maple glazed salmon / AllRecipes: Simply salted salmon is in my regular rotation, but Denver’s recent bone-chilling temps have been calling for something cozier. This is such an effortless recipe—the ideal weeknight meal. The generous maple syrup probably makes this one of the less healthy options, but this comes as close to a comfort meal as fish gets.

4. Sake steamed sea bass / Bon Appetit: I recommend with Chilean sea bass. Healthy yet indulgently satisfying—the sake and soy entwine for a savory, delicate flavor. I’ve skipped the clam juice before (you could also sub with dashi broth), but this turns out wonderfully regardless.

5. Tuna mayo rice bowl / Eric Kim, NYT: Introducing my lazy-girl lunch as of late. It’s giving onigiri from the konbini flaves. Over a microwaved Bibigo white rice? Delicious, five-minute meal. Substitute canned salmon to switch it up. Kewpie mayo is a must.

I’m forever looking for healthy-ish fish recipes to rotate in, so please share yours with us below!

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PS: If you liked today’s post, you might enjoy a few other newsletters I’ve written on travel:

Paris in September

Three days in Venice, Italy

Here's your travel guide to Paros, Greece