How we gather: Bernadette Gerrity’s annual Hamptons parties are a multigenerational affair

The Cafe Aroma exec on brewing up a soiree that’s warm, elevated, and family-friendly

Nov 12, 2024

Just in time for holiday hosting, I’m so excited to introduce you to Bernadette Gerrity, VP at Cafe Aroma and party planner extraordinaire. A third-generation executive of the Cuban-owned coffee brand, Bernadette has always been surrounded by family in both work and play

“My aunt, who is now my boss, used to have these New Year’s Eve parties when I was a kid. Everybody would get so dressed up. It was an indoor-outdoor thing with tents outside her pool. I’d be in a sea of legs — amongst fabulous shoes, beautiful silver dresses.”

From a young age, hosting has been deeply embedded in her DNA. “My dad had a real open door policy at his beach house. Often he’d been cooking and people would come over. People would find themselves staying for six hours. He’d have silly parties, like a summer in the winter party or a Donna Summer disco party.”

Bernadette is no stranger to mixing family with friends and business with pleasure, having grown up with loved ones and industry friends flowing through her home. Carrying on her family’s legacy of warm hospitality, she started bringing her community together at her Long Island home a few years back. What started out as a 30-person gathering has since grown to a highly anticipated annual soiree with more than 150 guests including kids, grandparents, industry friends, and her fiancé’s family.

In weeks like these, building community feels more important than ever. I think most of us probably bring all of our people together once in our lives for our weddings. So I can’t help but admire that Bernadette makes it a priority to do this once a year, every year, fearlessly blending her guest list across social groups and generations. “Having huge parties with kids around isn’t foreign to me now because I was the kid at the party when I was young,” she says.

This year, Bernadette hosted a Havana Nights party, paying homage to her Cuban heritage — complete with tropical flowers, bongos, cigar rollers, and a whole roast pig. Clearly someone who knows how to gather her people and show them a good time. Below, Bernadette shares her best advice on pulling together a large-scale, multigenerational affair.

1. Assemble your party planning team.

I start planning at least six months in advance. The first thing I do is confer with my family like I do in work and play — my mom, aunt, cousins. These are things I’m brewing up — can anyone else think of anything better? I also have two uncles that help with everything. One of them is a chef and the other is a floral designer!

2. Lock in your entertainment early.

Entertainment and catering are the biggest things that you have to lock down. I use websites like The Bash or Gig Salad to help me have a starting point even if I don’t land with them. They help me explore what kind of entertainment is local to me. Otherwise, often I have seen or heard them — for example, I’ve hired someone that I saw playing at Soho House.

3. When it comes to multigenerational appeal, keep it classic and thoughtful.

To be clear, classic doesn’t have to mean “simple” or “basic” but rather something that appeals to guests of all age groups. When it comes to the classics, I like to highlight things that almost anyone can enjoy: good music and good food!

Thoughtfulness comes into play when thinking about things like menu options — you should always have something on offer for vegetarians or gluten free even if just some hors d'oeuvres — and entertainment that can be enjoyed by everyone. Beyond the band, I often put games out like cornhole that are fun for adults and kids but can be sectioned off so as not to be disruptive to those socializing, dancing, eating, etc.

4. Do what you love doing, then outsource what you can.

When the cooking stops being fun, see if you can hire an extra hand or get catering trays from a local restaurant. I look to caterers for help on the centerpiece items like a roast pig, paella, etc. However, I often make — with the help of my fiance — all hors d'oeuvres on offer; I like to have at least two or three of each per anticipated guest. This year, that meant 250-300 mini ceviches, croquetas, gazpachos, and churros!

5. Make the most of party eve.

At parties and weddings, the one pitfall of being a host is you often walk away feeling like you didn’t get enough time with each person. We often have guests coming into town, but I try not to make too crazy of plans the evening of — you want to be with as many people as you can, but I try to keep that time intimate. We really focus on family that is coming in to see us. The night before, try to spend it with people that you love who will also be okay with it if you say we’re just going to have pizza at home, but I’m excited to be with you.

6. Take care of yourself first so you can take care of your guests.

The first year I did this we stayed up until 3 in the morning cooking and drinking the night before — oops! The day of, if you can get a workout in or do something for yourself, do that. You’re spending so much of your energy and time on others. You have to do something that’s going to ground you at least for an hour.

7. Butter up the neighbors.

I try to give my neighbors all around me little gift bags — a bottle of wine, some ear plugs, and a note that lets people know: we’re celebrating, but the music will be off by 11!

8. On the day of, orchestrate and delegate.

Write everything that needs to be done down, and then be prepared to orchestrate and delegate. Once any staff shows up, I show them exactly how I want hors d'oeuvres plated, what I want the presentation to look like, what specialty cocktails should look like. At that point, you are really conducting and orchestrating. When the party’s going on, take a look around. In the first hour or two, curb your drinking a little bit so you can make sure things are flowing.

9. Think ahead about creating connection between guests.

I always make brief introductions! Some planned, others spontaneous. I try to think ahead — who needs to meet? For example, I had a subset of guests who were all into wine. I had been studying to get my certification to become a sommelier, and had both classmates and also a tutor who is about to be a master somm in attendance. I planned ahead to introduce the tutor to classmates or restaurant owners — anyone with a likeminded interest!

10. Above all else, make it warm.

The most important thing really is creating a warm environment. When there’s warmth and good vibes and good food and good music, everyone’s in a good mood and open to mingling, even if you’re waiting for a drink at the bar. That’s what my parties are about; warmth & togetherness like a good Nancy Meyers movie. It’s less see and be seen and more hang and have fun!

Bernadette’s hosting essentials

Le Creuset dutch oven for cooking.
Champagne cork candles for birthdays.
Vintage dinnerware for serving — I love to sprinkle something vintage in!
While I adore a large centerpiece, it can at times block guests or take up room that would otherwise be for food. These smaller ceramic vases or these glass bud vases are a nice alternative to spring on the table.
Table linens don’t need to break the bank to be beautiful! I like this linen tablecloth and these napkins.
For splurging — for a truly special occasion…