How we gather: Erika Veurink on hosting EV Salon
The Brooklyn-based writer loves a name tag, an intro email, and a dinner party with a few wild cards
How we gather is an interview series featuring people who are bringing friends together in fun and inspired ways. Guests share ideas, stories, and practical tips to help us find community, create connections, and gather more intentionally.
After years of attending stiff, pointless events as a writer and influencer in New York,
thought, there must be a better way.Enter EV Salon, an invite-only space for handpicked connection. Erika’s curated gatherings, which bring together upwards of 50 guests, are designed so that you might fall in love with a new friend.
It takes someone who truly loves creating community to dream up—and pull off!—something like this. I chatted with Erika, who writes the newsletter
, about how she plans these coveted New York gatherings and engineers meaningful connections between her guests. Think you’ll love what she has to share!
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TW: What was the inspiration behind EV Salon?
EV: I’m obsessed with intro emails. I’m always sending intro emails between incredible people I know, and I wanted to make that feeling manifest in a space. What if you could walk in to a space and know that everyone was vetted by someone that you trust?
What’s the format of the gathering?
EV Salon is designed to be an invite-only space for handpicked connection. You get an email from me. If you confirm you’re attending, I send a Google calendar invite. I hide the guest list because no snooping.
You walk into the event and find your name tag before you get a drink or do anything else. It’s always on a big wall, and you can see the names of everyone who is coming. Your name is matched to someone else’s name, and between every name tag is a connection point—for example, ours would be Erika < Substack > Teresa.
I think it’s important that people have a job off the bat—you have a person you have to find. If you have any sort of social anxiety or trepidation about walking into a room, this setup sort of takes care of that and provides an immediate context for a conversation or a new friendship.
There’s a lovely drink setup—we get sponsors involved with snazzy DTC snacks, and there are always gift bags with brands vetted by me.
How many people do you invite, and how do you curate the guest list?
The first one was 30 people in my apartment, the second one was around 50 people in an annex at a restaurant. The next one will be 80 people at a grocery store in Manhattan.
So far, I’ve invited my own network and friends of friends. The chances that you’ll know someone are quite high because you probably work in media or tech. As it grows, I might involve people that I don’t know personally—though part of what makes it work right now is that the connections are handpicked.
What are your thoughts on the best way to connect people after a party? When I throw parties, I’m never quite sure if people got each other’s info. Do you ever send out a contact list?
I feel like an Instagram follow is the most natural way for most people to connect. During an event, I find it a bit rude to pull out my phone, so I always have this little red Moleskine on me where I’ll make note of any follow-ups.
I don’t send out a contact list because even if people get a list, there’s still a barrier for one person to reach out to another. After the salon is over, I always send a follow up email to the group and inevitably 20 intro emails afterward. I don’t mind sending the intro. I like that it feels high touch… and I like knowing who connected with who!
What role do you see yourself playing as the host? Who else do you pull in to help?
My purpose on the planet is to be a connector—I want to be the conduit for two people coming together for an incredible creative project, a really fulfilling friendship, or a short-term apartment rental.
I have five really close friends who show up and are my little army. It’s so sweet because they could all just hang out with each other, but I can see the way they take the nature of the event seriously, introduce new people who might not know each other, and mirror my behavior. The hope is that that becomes contagious and people step out of their comfort zones.
Tell us more about the gift bags. How did those come about?
All of the sponsors and gift bag items are vetted by me. I work with a lot of brands that are generous enough to send product and help amplify the salon.
People think of it as a moment of discovery. Anytime I serve nonalch drinks, when we get all the Ghia flavors flowing, people love it so much. I sent everyone home with a razor that I wrote about for the Wall Street Journal once—I loved going over to my friends’ apartments and seeing it in their bathrooms.
How do you create the vibe for an event?
I like to host events where people can come and go with ease. I set a pretty wide time frame on these events, and they always end up going later. And I always keep the lights as low as I can.
I’ll set up little stations—people like to stand, but that doesn’t stop me from having places to sit down and creating a cozier, more intimate moment.
My girlfriend Tori has the best taste in music. I play her playlist “Cruising Altitude” at all my events. Editor’s note: Tori writes one of my favorite Substacks! Check out her newsletter .
Logistically, when are these taking place?
It’s generally like 6-8:30 p.m., though I have gotten feedback that that’s too early—the next one is going to be 8 p.m. on a Thursday. I only ever do weekdays. I got married on a weekday. I don’t mess with weekend plans.
What do the comms look like before and after?
I keep communications really minimal. Everyone gets an email bcced with the whole group a month in advance. It’ll say: Here are the details, no plus ones. Respond to this email if you can make it, and I’ll add you to the Google calendar invite.
Controversial, but I don’t send a reminder email. I always send a very thorough follow-up email three days later with photos, links to anyone that was in the gift bag, and an offer to make any intros.
“My purpose on the planet is to be a connector—I always want to be the conduit for people for an incredible creative project or a really fulfilling friendship or a short-term apartment rental.”
Tell me more about hiring a photographer.
I think it’s really special to have a photographer. People are going to take photos for content, but a photographer takes the pressure off of that… you can let someone else get the detail shot or the group shot. Turnaround time on photos is really important—you don’t want to email photos two weeks later.
Let’s talk about managing costs—I know personally, I love to throw a party, but it can be expensive to host all the time.
I’m lucky that food and drink and everything in the gift bags are gifted in exchange for posts. But there are definitely still other costs that I eat—like a photographer, paid help, Ubers, etc. I sort of think of it as an investment in my community and in my network.
How do you think a different setting (your apartment vs. a grocery store, for example) changes the vibe?
I would host it in my house forever if I could—but it’s a one-bedroom in New York. When it’s your own home, there are so many factors you can control. I’m often using spaces that have been gifted to me, so it’s not like I’m a paying client. You don’t always know exactly what you’re showing up to.
But I try to be really cognizant that thing that’s important is the people and the connections that I’m making. People are there for the people. At the end of the day, if it’s too bright or the music’s not loud enough, it’s fine.
How can readers recreate the ethos and energy of EV Salon in a smaller way?
I think one of the things you can do is host dinner parties outside of a single friend group. Do the hard work of creating a mind map and figuring out what connections you can make—for example, I know this person from this, but this person might get along with this person.
Maybe my default guest list is this list of people—but how can I add in three new people who are wild cards, and really introduce new energy to the group? Planning events outside of one friend group is not easy, and it does not always go well. But when you put in the work of creating those name tags and connection points, the end result can be greater than the sum of its parts.
Any final advice do you have for someone wanting to pull off a gathering like EV Salon?
Providing context to your guests is everything. I hate an event that’s like, “Just come over.” Is it your anniversary or…? I don’t want people to think EV Salon is a networking thing. When you equip people with expectations, it’s easier for them to show up the way you want them to.
Photo credit: Sara Anderson
Thank you so much, Erika! For more from Erika, find EV Salon on Instagram here and subscribe to
, Erika’s newsletter on secondhand fashion.
Erika is the hardest working connector on the planet. She is selfless in a way that most people with this kind of impressive network—in NYC, no less!—are not. No gatekeeping, ever, and we love her for it. Devoured this peek behind the curtain into the masterclass in thoughtful networking that is EV Salon, Teresa! Thank you for the shoutout, and thrilled to see Cruising Altitude make an appearance, too ❤️
Curious about the decision to exclude plus ones - I can see how people might want to only stick with their partners but at the same time, partners of friends are some of the coolest people I've met!