Calling friends in different time zones has allowed for commuting phone catch ups, I’ve also sent favorite or important books to friends who would appreciate them, some DM’s over social media lead into full on catch up conversations, sharing favorite older photos on birthdays or when they pop up can lead into catch up time, but ultimately this is all challenging to keep up and gets harder every single year (especially when friends are in the early days/years of having children)
I hear you—one of the few things I miss about commuting is phone catchups! For some reason, I just never think to call people when I'm bumming around at home. I might need to try doing them on dog walks.
Very much agree it's so challenging when friends have young kids—I was honestly so wowed by the commitment to spending time together from the gfs on our ski trip. They ALL have toddlers under two, but made it happen. It made me promise to be one of those parents that focuses on balancing friendships (even with my non-mom friends) when I'm a mom.
Such a beautiful read, Teresa! It resonated so much with me. Can't stress enough the importance of taking photos together. My closest group of friends have been from high school, and we lost one of our girlfriends two years ago to cancer. So grateful to have all these photos and memories of our girls nights and trips together to look back on.
I'm so sorry to hear about losing your friend—that must have been and must continue to be so tough, but love that you still have photo memories together.
At my "bachelorette" (used loosely—lol mostly just a girls' trip) I hired a photographer to take photos of my gfs and me! I think they all thought I was a cheeseball for making them do it, but we all had a great time during the photo session and those pictures of my closest girlfriends together are so special.
Thanks, Teresa. Sorry to hear, too, about your experience with D&C. Having friends who get what you're going through and who you can lean on makes such a difference.
Doing a photo session with you and your gfs is such a sweet idea - I may have to suggest that for our next big girls trip! x
This was such an inspiring and heart warming post. I love how you have such a wonderful way with words and always look forward to reading yours. And so sorry to hear about the D&C. Sending you love and prayers I still remember going through it years ago. My closet group of friends are scattered all over the world - hard to believe we all lived in one city once upon a time - and we are all getting together in Seoul this summer some who I haven’t seen in person for almost 10 years!!! Being stoked is an understatement.
Thank you for the sweet words 💕 Friend gatherings in Asia are THE BEST! Getting together in a fun eating/shopping city just adds a whole ‘nother layer of girlfriend hangout magic - so excited for you!
I have a flexible standing weekly FaceTime with one of my close friends from out of state; there are weeks when our schedules don't mesh and we have to reschedule, but it's so great to make the habit to catch up over coffee during a work break. Your recs and tips are all great! I think we also should give ourselves grace and overcome the awkwardness of reaching out again to a friend whom we haven't kept in touch with for a while. The running group chat is a great idea though. Thank you for this lovely post!
I love that you have that a standing date and totally agree, life gets in the way all too often but we should all get comfy with reaching back out and giving a friendship a little restart.
Love your little blurb on how to use social media to actually connect and be social =) Also, sorry to hear about the miscarriage and D&C *hugs* I'm really glad you had friends who shared openly about it who you could lean on during that time! Sending you love!!
Thanks for the kind words! I am *super* open about it with everyone now just because I know how much it was helpful to have people to reach out to in the moment.
It’s so hard. I just spent a weekend in Healdsburg with my five college roommates and it was our first time altogether since pre-COVID. We are living all across the country, plus one in London. We have a group chat to keep in touch, but on this trip we made a pact to try to get together for annual trips (kids or no kids). Personally, I value in person time so much and I find having plans/goals for annual in person get togethers (whether they can happen every year or not) is the best way to at least try to see your people with some consistency.
Healdsburg sounds like the perfect/most relaxing girls' trip! I'm realizing how important being intentional about the planning is... thankful one of my gfs grabbed the bull by the horns to get us together!
I love this. Since moving to Denver, it’s hard to get together with my friends I left in Dallas. One of those friends and I meet up every year during the week of Thanksgiving in a different European city (we obviously both don’t have kids). It’s just a quick trip but it gives us one on one time to reconnect and recharge.
Love that tradition of yours! (and that you protect that time from competing SO/fam lol—something that I find is challenging when there are a lot of assumptions around what relationships "should" be of the most importance during certain holidays)
Such practical and helpful advice. I’ve been bogged down by guilt for not staying in touch very well with some of my closest friends from past seasons of life. It is hard for me to balance nurturing new relationships with sustaining longstanding ones, especially since I’d once considered myself a major introvert. I have found that voice memos help too when time zones make it hard to call, although I still feel a bit awkward recording them lol
I haven't gotten into voice notes yet buuut agree they are a much more intimate way of communicating than text! Maybe I'll give them a shot this week ;)
It's hard maintaining long distance friendships. You both have to constantly work on it for you to keep it alive. I am glad you both are working on yours.
I've moved over twenty times and don't live near any of my nearest dearest--- in fact, we're all sprawled out all over the world, so I love this post!
We keep in touch through mutual interests and many of us have embraced reading. So book recommendations, sharing Kindle accounts (I can snoop on where they are in their book), sending annotated books, art exhibits in their area (go see this and report back!), and more. It also keeps the conversations less focused on what we've missed. Group chats with invitations to celebrate small victories and pile on to the not-so-victorious moments are wonderful, too. With one group of friends, we try to do a national parks trip together every year for a long weekend.
What a beautiful reminder to nourish all these connections we've built over the years. As for keeping in touch, me and my long-distance bestie from Japan send each other voice memos to update each other on our lives. We like to check in that way, because it's more personal than chatting, and facetiming with the time difference isn't always easy
I gotta get into the voice notes! I hate hearing my own voice (but suppose that doens't matter for someone else who has to hear it, haha). Agree it's so much more intimate to hear someone's voice.
I loved reading this, it was such a beautiful (and timely) reminder. Especially capturing moments or sending thoughtful notes or gifts. Thank you for writing this. Some of my closest girlfriends live in Australia (where I grew up), while I have been living in Buenos Aires the last six years. I'm not going to lie, the 14 hour time difference makes it a real challenge to coordinate calls. After a trip back last year, it was a great reminder of the strong bond we still have (we hadn't seen each other face to face in seven years!) And now we're in talks on meeting somewhere in the world and doing a girls trip next year and I cannot wait!
Wow! Australia <> Buenos Aires is very long distance—I can only imagine how hard it is to get together or even catch up because of time zones. Isn't it crazy how seven years can fly by without seeing your closest friends? I can't wait to hear where you decide to go :)
Yes! It definitely makes it difficult, having travelled a lot I have also made lots of friends abroad and it's always lovely to catch up and reconnect, sometimes in new meeting points too, which is amazing. Absolutely, it flew right by, especially what with the pandemic. Yes! Thank you x
Calling friends in different time zones has allowed for commuting phone catch ups, I’ve also sent favorite or important books to friends who would appreciate them, some DM’s over social media lead into full on catch up conversations, sharing favorite older photos on birthdays or when they pop up can lead into catch up time, but ultimately this is all challenging to keep up and gets harder every single year (especially when friends are in the early days/years of having children)
I hear you—one of the few things I miss about commuting is phone catchups! For some reason, I just never think to call people when I'm bumming around at home. I might need to try doing them on dog walks.
Very much agree it's so challenging when friends have young kids—I was honestly so wowed by the commitment to spending time together from the gfs on our ski trip. They ALL have toddlers under two, but made it happen. It made me promise to be one of those parents that focuses on balancing friendships (even with my non-mom friends) when I'm a mom.
Such a beautiful read, Teresa! It resonated so much with me. Can't stress enough the importance of taking photos together. My closest group of friends have been from high school, and we lost one of our girlfriends two years ago to cancer. So grateful to have all these photos and memories of our girls nights and trips together to look back on.
I'm so sorry to hear about losing your friend—that must have been and must continue to be so tough, but love that you still have photo memories together.
At my "bachelorette" (used loosely—lol mostly just a girls' trip) I hired a photographer to take photos of my gfs and me! I think they all thought I was a cheeseball for making them do it, but we all had a great time during the photo session and those pictures of my closest girlfriends together are so special.
Thanks, Teresa. Sorry to hear, too, about your experience with D&C. Having friends who get what you're going through and who you can lean on makes such a difference.
Doing a photo session with you and your gfs is such a sweet idea - I may have to suggest that for our next big girls trip! x
My favorite post by far!!
Thanks for reading! <3 <3
This was such an inspiring and heart warming post. I love how you have such a wonderful way with words and always look forward to reading yours. And so sorry to hear about the D&C. Sending you love and prayers I still remember going through it years ago. My closet group of friends are scattered all over the world - hard to believe we all lived in one city once upon a time - and we are all getting together in Seoul this summer some who I haven’t seen in person for almost 10 years!!! Being stoked is an understatement.
Thank you for the sweet words 💕 Friend gatherings in Asia are THE BEST! Getting together in a fun eating/shopping city just adds a whole ‘nother layer of girlfriend hangout magic - so excited for you!
I have a flexible standing weekly FaceTime with one of my close friends from out of state; there are weeks when our schedules don't mesh and we have to reschedule, but it's so great to make the habit to catch up over coffee during a work break. Your recs and tips are all great! I think we also should give ourselves grace and overcome the awkwardness of reaching out again to a friend whom we haven't kept in touch with for a while. The running group chat is a great idea though. Thank you for this lovely post!
I love that you have that a standing date and totally agree, life gets in the way all too often but we should all get comfy with reaching back out and giving a friendship a little restart.
My pajama friends are invaluable to me ❤️and of course are spread out across the US! Loved this article
Name a friendship more pajama-y than ours!!!! the ultimate pajama friend 💕
Love your little blurb on how to use social media to actually connect and be social =) Also, sorry to hear about the miscarriage and D&C *hugs* I'm really glad you had friends who shared openly about it who you could lean on during that time! Sending you love!!
Thanks for the kind words! I am *super* open about it with everyone now just because I know how much it was helpful to have people to reach out to in the moment.
resonates so much - the required trips are such a necessity!
It’s so hard. I just spent a weekend in Healdsburg with my five college roommates and it was our first time altogether since pre-COVID. We are living all across the country, plus one in London. We have a group chat to keep in touch, but on this trip we made a pact to try to get together for annual trips (kids or no kids). Personally, I value in person time so much and I find having plans/goals for annual in person get togethers (whether they can happen every year or not) is the best way to at least try to see your people with some consistency.
Healdsburg sounds like the perfect/most relaxing girls' trip! I'm realizing how important being intentional about the planning is... thankful one of my gfs grabbed the bull by the horns to get us together!
I love this. Since moving to Denver, it’s hard to get together with my friends I left in Dallas. One of those friends and I meet up every year during the week of Thanksgiving in a different European city (we obviously both don’t have kids). It’s just a quick trip but it gives us one on one time to reconnect and recharge.
Love that tradition of yours! (and that you protect that time from competing SO/fam lol—something that I find is challenging when there are a lot of assumptions around what relationships "should" be of the most importance during certain holidays)
Such practical and helpful advice. I’ve been bogged down by guilt for not staying in touch very well with some of my closest friends from past seasons of life. It is hard for me to balance nurturing new relationships with sustaining longstanding ones, especially since I’d once considered myself a major introvert. I have found that voice memos help too when time zones make it hard to call, although I still feel a bit awkward recording them lol
I haven't gotten into voice notes yet buuut agree they are a much more intimate way of communicating than text! Maybe I'll give them a shot this week ;)
Surely this is a different, less fun, less open-minded Patrick you've befriended over the years you're talking about? XD
;)
It's hard maintaining long distance friendships. You both have to constantly work on it for you to keep it alive. I am glad you both are working on yours.
I've moved over twenty times and don't live near any of my nearest dearest--- in fact, we're all sprawled out all over the world, so I love this post!
We keep in touch through mutual interests and many of us have embraced reading. So book recommendations, sharing Kindle accounts (I can snoop on where they are in their book), sending annotated books, art exhibits in their area (go see this and report back!), and more. It also keeps the conversations less focused on what we've missed. Group chats with invitations to celebrate small victories and pile on to the not-so-victorious moments are wonderful, too. With one group of friends, we try to do a national parks trip together every year for a long weekend.
What a beautiful reminder to nourish all these connections we've built over the years. As for keeping in touch, me and my long-distance bestie from Japan send each other voice memos to update each other on our lives. We like to check in that way, because it's more personal than chatting, and facetiming with the time difference isn't always easy
I gotta get into the voice notes! I hate hearing my own voice (but suppose that doens't matter for someone else who has to hear it, haha). Agree it's so much more intimate to hear someone's voice.
I loved reading this, it was such a beautiful (and timely) reminder. Especially capturing moments or sending thoughtful notes or gifts. Thank you for writing this. Some of my closest girlfriends live in Australia (where I grew up), while I have been living in Buenos Aires the last six years. I'm not going to lie, the 14 hour time difference makes it a real challenge to coordinate calls. After a trip back last year, it was a great reminder of the strong bond we still have (we hadn't seen each other face to face in seven years!) And now we're in talks on meeting somewhere in the world and doing a girls trip next year and I cannot wait!
Wow! Australia <> Buenos Aires is very long distance—I can only imagine how hard it is to get together or even catch up because of time zones. Isn't it crazy how seven years can fly by without seeing your closest friends? I can't wait to hear where you decide to go :)
Yes! It definitely makes it difficult, having travelled a lot I have also made lots of friends abroad and it's always lovely to catch up and reconnect, sometimes in new meeting points too, which is amazing. Absolutely, it flew right by, especially what with the pandemic. Yes! Thank you x