So fascinating - I love the breakdown of results! My reason is very similar to yours. It’s funny bc I hated my last name growing up (Uh). I always got made fun of and no one ever knew how to pronounce it and it made me feel so non-American. My now husband, who is white, has the most all-American last name (Clark) which sounds like my teen self’s dream to finally have a more “American” sounding name but I felt like I would lose a bit of myself and my heritage. My last name is also considered very rare in Korea and there aren’t any sons on all of my dads side of the family so the daughters are the last of the lineage for our name ❤️
We don’t have kids but if we did, we always say they would definitely take the Uh name!
This is fascinating!!! I did change my name but only a year later when we moved to Copenhagen and it made sense bureaucratically. However, now divorced I lament that I can’t change my name until the decree is through AND that MY title changes to Ms?! While his remains the same...
Awesome read! There’s a mom in my July ‘19 baby group who has a super unique last name. Turns out she and her husband made a portmanteau of their actual last names, and they BOTH legally changed their names. Now the four of them (she, husband, plus 2 kiddos) are the only ones that have this name in the entire world. I loved that story so much!
I didn't change my last name and never contemplated it. Most Taiwanese women don't change their last names, so husbands and wives having different last names always felt completely normal to me.
However, when people ask me why I didn't, I sometimes provide the following reasons:
1. My name is part of my identity, even though I never liked my name growing up and still don't love it. I prefer the continuity of keeping the same name my whole life. I married someone who isn't Taiwanese, and I don't want a last name that doesn't match my Taiwanese identity. (You mentioned all this as well.)
2. I didn't want to deal with the bureaucracy and cost of name changing. (This one went the furthest in placating my husband's parents.)
3. I dislike the gendered expectations around last name changing. Maybe I just dislike gendered expectations in general, but this is one of the easiest ones to pick on.
4. I don't want kids, so the last name of my kids was never up for debate. However, I don't think kids should automatically inherit the dad's last name over the mom's.
I think everyone should do what they want with their names. Common last names shouldn't define families. The Spanish approach sounds good to me. I'm also a fan of creative competitions or bets to decide whose last name wins. :)
So fascinating - I love the breakdown of results! My reason is very similar to yours. It’s funny bc I hated my last name growing up (Uh). I always got made fun of and no one ever knew how to pronounce it and it made me feel so non-American. My now husband, who is white, has the most all-American last name (Clark) which sounds like my teen self’s dream to finally have a more “American” sounding name but I felt like I would lose a bit of myself and my heritage. My last name is also considered very rare in Korea and there aren’t any sons on all of my dads side of the family so the daughters are the last of the lineage for our name ❤️
We don’t have kids but if we did, we always say they would definitely take the Uh name!
This is fascinating!!! I did change my name but only a year later when we moved to Copenhagen and it made sense bureaucratically. However, now divorced I lament that I can’t change my name until the decree is through AND that MY title changes to Ms?! While his remains the same...
Awesome read! There’s a mom in my July ‘19 baby group who has a super unique last name. Turns out she and her husband made a portmanteau of their actual last names, and they BOTH legally changed their names. Now the four of them (she, husband, plus 2 kiddos) are the only ones that have this name in the entire world. I loved that story so much!
Interesting read!
I didn't change my last name and never contemplated it. Most Taiwanese women don't change their last names, so husbands and wives having different last names always felt completely normal to me.
However, when people ask me why I didn't, I sometimes provide the following reasons:
1. My name is part of my identity, even though I never liked my name growing up and still don't love it. I prefer the continuity of keeping the same name my whole life. I married someone who isn't Taiwanese, and I don't want a last name that doesn't match my Taiwanese identity. (You mentioned all this as well.)
2. I didn't want to deal with the bureaucracy and cost of name changing. (This one went the furthest in placating my husband's parents.)
3. I dislike the gendered expectations around last name changing. Maybe I just dislike gendered expectations in general, but this is one of the easiest ones to pick on.
4. I don't want kids, so the last name of my kids was never up for debate. However, I don't think kids should automatically inherit the dad's last name over the mom's.
I think everyone should do what they want with their names. Common last names shouldn't define families. The Spanish approach sounds good to me. I'm also a fan of creative competitions or bets to decide whose last name wins. :)
Fascinating!